I AM


I am concerned for the welfare of the world around me. I fear the unknown, though I now know I only fear because I wish to use the future to protect myself and my loved ones. I am intrigued, yet horrified, at the prospects laid out before our limited humanity. I am in reverence at the cleverness, elegance, and intelligence of God.

I am battling myself for supreme standing. I am loving the struggle but frustrated that it exists. I am feeling divided as I allow life to pass through me, but I believe this is how it should be. I am frightened by my own power. I am courageous, though, in the presence of my fear.

I am alone when I allow it. I am lost when I doubt. I am indifferent for ignorant reasons. I am given to that which corrupts.

I am captivated by the knowledge of a loving God. I recognize and see His presence in my life, though not devoid of confusion. I am forever indebted to His patient gaze, the same that provides me space and time to grow beyond the bonds

I have blindly placed for myself. I am who I am because He will let me have it all.

I am overwhelmed when I discern the thoughts and being of others. I worry it is an invasion, an uninvited visit, though their reactions of appreciation and trust often follow. I am humbled that human beings, in our day and age, are still programmed for relationship and interaction, no matter how individualized we push to become.

I am a hero to myself. I am forgotten, but only genuinely erased if I allow it. I am in my own time and my own position and own acceptance. I am the reason I hope, and love, and smile. I am a child of God; how can that confound a smile?

I am depended upon for reasons that have nothing to do with me. I am needed for purposes beyond my own. I am in demand because life will go on with or without me. I am an essential piece of the puzzle I’m participating in.

I am flummoxed that so much individuality can exist in one place, at the same time, and work cohesively. I respect God for his orchestration and laugh at his conniving nature. I smile when He smiles with me. I roll my eyes when He hits me upright the head. I am proud to be His son, and I am proud to proclaim my allegiance. I am curious, however, in the ways He chooses to show His unraveling and revelations. He doesn’t like to be on the nose, and He definitely enjoys drama and suspense. I am a living example of some of His work, and my heart and spirit rejoice in the creation He oversees.

I am more than a work in progress. I am the progress. I define. I enable. I deconstruct. I am the first, but not the last line. I am a servant and disciple of Christ. And all things are His.

I am willing to be a part of this world, and I am eager to pursue the facets of my adventure. I am destiny. I am in fate. I am at the mercy of God, who all encompasses, all encourages, and plays no favorites.

I am me. As I’ve chosen to be.

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